Friday, November 23, 2007

Thanksgiving yumminess.

Thanksgiving yesterday was wonderful. Joey and I almost got out of the house without some little thing escalating into a huge argument, which is a big accomplishment on the holidays, or really any day of the year. But maybe especially on the holidays.
It started with the batteries in the camera not being charged (and Joey being annoyed and blaming me for it because, ok, it was kinda my fault), and then Ethan climbing onto the toilet and opening the cabinet that hangs above it. This cabinet is full of all sorts of lotions and bubbles and one easily openable bottle of iodine. Ethan was quiet. Too quiet. So I decided to check on him and when I found him he was spreading the blood colored iodine all over the shiny white toilet saying, "Messy! Messy!". This was also my fault because I let Ethan climb on the toilet and Joey does not.
Later, after Thanksgiving dinner while I helped Grandpa Shaun with the dishes, I relayed the iodine-toilet story.
"Isn't iodine poisonous?" he asks me.
I shrug my shoulders and say, "I donno. Now that you mention it, it does sound like poison." I am embarrassed that I broke one of the all time biggest toddler rules ever ("Keep poison out of children's reach" and admit to myself that Joey might have a point to keeping Ethan off the toilet).
Anyway, when I handed iodine-covered Ethan to Joey and said, "Change him please," he gave me The Look.
So I was in intense bad mood.
But I fought it and by the time we got to Grandma Patty's the bad mood was gone. This was a victory. I don't always win these bad mood battles; in fact, most of the time I am like my nephew Aiden who told his mom after he scratched his knee, "I can't be happy right now."
I say that same thing all of the time for a variety of reasons, most of which have to do with the way my husband is treating me. And it is complete foolishness.
I have two young friends who just got married and like the rest of us are struggling and hurting as they are discovering their husbands don't make them happy in a direct, easy sort of way. This is a slow lesson to learn and I don't grasp it fully. I still expect Joey to be my version of perfect, fulfilling every single one of my emotional and physical needs. And when he doesn't, Bad Mood attacks.
So I try to recognize those moods for what they are (a consequence of idol "perfect husband") and fight it off so that we can have a happy Thanksgiving or a happy Tuesday night, or whatever.
And it really was such a blessing to be able to share Thanksgiving with Joey in light of his nuts-o schedule. He is such an amazing husband. I've been wanting to tell the world that I have never met another man who is working as hard as he is right now to provide and care for his family.
If not perfect, he still is amazing.

1 comment:

Simon Jooste said...

great thoughts. I'm in the same boat - but I'm not trying very hard to not be in a bad mood. I am not proud of this, but most of the time I am in a bad mood just to make him in a bad mood because he "deserves" it because he was the one who put me in the bad mood (which is NOT true). Are you following me? Do I sound like a toddler? Oh why am I like this?
It's good to stop and reflect on how wonderful our husbands are, like you did in this blog - I need to do that more often. There is SO much good in Simon. He really is a great guy and a wonderful husband. I am very blessed - if only I could remember this in the heat of the moment.
Especially when he gives me The Look when I am doing something "cavelier" (as he says) or irresponsible. I'm glad I'm not the only one :) But I am really trying to be more responsible and not just think, "oh, it will be fine, that won't happen this time..." (maybe I shouldn't be admitting this to the world on your blog...oh well, it's the real me, I guess)