Monday, October 8, 2007

Assembly Required

Joey is hunting for a couple of days with his dad and brother. I hope they have some good 'guy' time together...shooting, smoking, and maybe talking? I'm not sure what guys do when they are alone.
This morning I woke up about 6:30 and could have sworn I heard light switches being flipped on throughout the house. You know the little click sound they make if it's real quiet? So I started to freak out, but then I swear I heard the drag of one of our dinning room chairs against the linoleum, just like someone was pulling it out to sit in it. So then I thought, Oh, Joey's home. Because two nights ago he did come home early from work, like at 2:30 a.m., and when I woke up very sleepily to his moving around our bedroom, I wasn't scared at all because I knew it was him. Not because I could see him, but because of the sounds he was making, the way he was moving.
So I heard the scrapping sound of one of our dinning room chairs on the floor, for a mini-second was relieved and thought Joey was home, but then one mini-second later realized how silly that was; why would he come home early from hunting? And to get back here at at 6:30, he'd have to have left at like one.
Well, no one was in the house (so far, no one has ever been, even though I have been absolutely sure of it about five or maybe six times) and I think it was just wishful thinking in my heart when I heard that familiar sound of the chair scrapping the floor, because it is the sound I hear a lot as I am lying in bed in the morning; it's the sound that means Joey is home.
Well, the other day Joey tells me that this whole cop thing is not going to work out in between us; I am just not cut out to be a cop's wife. He said women who are cut out to be cop's wives have things to do for the three or four days a week when their husbands are gone, like, he said, scrapbook. He gave my older sister as an example of a woman who would probably make a good cop's wife because she always has a list of things to get done; a list of things to get done that she wants to do alone.
He told me that all I do when he is at work is think about him comming home. Now, how's he know that?
I think he read my blog and all of these pity posts about me missing him. I think that's what spurred this little 'cop's wife' conversation.
Well, I don't know what to say. Except since I have realized this I have found things to do. Like an amazing book that shows you how to move and stretch in all sorts of wonderful ways. My back and hips feel loose for the first time since I was, oh I donno, five.
And then last night I watched Cold Case, mainly just for some company, but that was stupid because why would I want company that involves a gruesome murder of a young girl? Well, I watched it anyway, seriously annoyed at the orangish color of the lead woman's lipstick throughout the entire show, as I put together our NEW ELECTRIC FIREPLACE.
I have been wanting a fireplace for about a year. They are so warm and cozy and I thought that maybe it would bring some sunshine into my winter. We got it last week in the mail, two huge boxes of wood, a little baggy with screws and washers and those little wood peg things, and of course the insert itself.
We were so excited we could barely wait to put Ethan down so we could assemble the thing ("Assembles easily with a Philips screwdriver" it said on the website) but when we were finally ready we were exhausted as usual (it was 8:30) plus we both had runny noses and achy bodies.
But we really wanted to put that thing together and then enjoy a little time cuddled up next to it (or at least that was my motivation; I am not sure what was Joey's) so we took some cold medicine and pain relievers and went to work. Joey stuck two corners of a Kleenex up his nose to stop the drainage, and he looked so pathetic and so sick I had to too, lest I look like I was suffering less.
So there we were, out in the freezing garage, ripping open dirty boxes and hard to tear plastic and staticky white packing pieces everywhere, Kleenex hanging out of our noise.
What did us in were the directions. The second we opened up that paper book I felt even more achy and sick and even woozy.
Let's go to bed, I said.
So we did. And all the pieces have just been sitting in our garage and some in our living room for like four days.
But last night I got serious and I put that thing together. All by myself. There were times when I definitely wanted to give up. There were times I had to try over and over and over and over again to get all the holes and wood pegs and screws to line up right so that they all fit together, at the same time.
I think what they should say on the website is that the fireplace assembles easily with a Philips screwdriver and patience as big as the Pacific Ocean. Oh and muscles.
But I got it together, it looks so beautiful, I am so happy, and Joey will be too.
Maybe this cop thing might work out in between us after all.

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