This morning I feel like I should write. I was up half the night or more, first to pee, but then sometime, maybe on the toilet, I started thinking about this dumb, immature, thoughtless thing I did yesterday and when my mind starts working at night, it's almost impossible to shut up.
I went over all my motives and realized I should have just kept my mouth shut. But, I didn't--no big surprise there. So then I had to think of all the ways I could make things better-- this seems like a simple process but I was up three hours by this point, the fan over my head making endless circles and swooshing noises.
I finally called the time lady because I am so blind I cannot see the clock, and I think the beep beep beep of the numbers woke up Joey--unless he was just laying there like an idiot listening to the fan too--because he asked me what I was doing.
I thought how suspicious I would be if I woke up and Joey was dialing some number in the middle of the night. I swear being pregnant (I hope it's the pregnancy) has seriously made me lose my mind--like he'd be calling his girlfriend in the middle of the night while I snored next to him. Good grief.
I just told him I couldn't sleep. He--unlike me--didn't care who the heck I was calling.
We both rolled over. A little while later, against my better judgment, I hesitantly called his name: Joe?
Mm.
So he was still awake. I knew I was walking on shaky ground because on top of him being half a sleep and him hating it when I interrupt his sleep (he usually has a harder time sleeping than I do) he also has the flu.
What do you do when you can't sleep?
And this is the point of this post; why I woke up in a good mood despite getting no sleep; why I was able to deal with Ethan's incredible cranky attitude this morning without completely losing it: Joey rolled over and put his arm around me.
It seemed like a gesture of sympathy, one I took completely. My body was able to relax with his weight next to mine; I concentrated on his heart beat.
I still didn't fall asleep until early morning, when the sun was already making the sky light, but I was able to rest.
3 comments:
a part of me does a little happy dance in my sleep when Steve rolls over and cuddles me... there's something so perfect about that it is restful and comforting! My brain is the same way sometimes tho no matter how hard i try or how hard i wish it won't turn off.
That is so sweet.. I also enjoy it when Sam comes to bed (usually around 3-5) and holds me.. It is a special time that I enjoy, even though by that time I am already totally tired and asleep.. Love, Love, Loves my time with my husband!!
:)ahhh.. yeah. at that you dont want to sleep.. rest is sufficient..
daelynn
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