Saturday, December 6, 2008

Maybe.


The other day I was walking on my lunch break because I am trying to become more physically active and I stepped in fresh dog poo. The ironic thing is that the exact moment my tennis shoe hit the mushiness, I was thinking how strange it was that I saw two stray dogs roaming around.
The neighborhood I found was out of a story book--big, wide, winding streets lined with trees with houses that all had three car garages and double doorways welcoming you inside. It was quiet and almost eerie the more I kept walking, like I had just stepped into one of those fake worlds where all the people are beautiful and plastic. A good few of the houses had yard workers blowing leaves and cleaning out flower beds.
So anyway I sat down and cleaned the poo out of my shoe with a little stick. Then I walked back to work.
After work I had a mini meltdown, was over it by the time I picked up Ethan, and then it came back when I realized what a grumpy mood the little man was in.
The thing is I would really like to have another baby, I think. And also I feel overwhelmed right now with my responsibilities, so maybe I want to have a baby not only for the smell of new baby hair and everything but also so that I can quit all these responsibilities I have and focus on ONE thing--the baby.
OK, and Ethan and Joey.
This feeling has been growing for quite some time, so maybe it's time I do something about it instead of just feeling overwhelmed all of the time. Maybe.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, the smell of new baby hair. Nothing compares to that. I think a new baby would be great so that you can re-focus on being a mommy. God has called us to motherhood, and the responsibilities are still overwhelming, just a different kind of overwhelming. Maybe it's just that the mommy job is more fulfilling, just maybe....

Deaira Dea said...

more babies are always welcome in our little church family its fun to see it grow and its fun to get a baby fix every now and again keeps my biological clock from ticking so loud... i love baby cheeks and baby hair too the smell of powder and just soft cuddly sweet sleeping budles that rest in your arms and sigh... haha i'm married now i could have one of those... hmm maybe not yet...