Fiebe had her tiny tubes tied this morning and I miss her and I think Riley does too. We are both in the kitchen now, very quiet, only the hum of the refrigerator and the wind outside to listen to. I think we miss Fiebe's peppy-ness, her unassuming eyes and crazy, uncontrollable hair. I can't wait to hold her little, tired body, her big bat wing ears sinking low behind her head. She is the most pitiful thing you ever saw anyway, but after this surgery I think she will be like a wet cat.
It's stormy outside, windy, maybe rain? I like the change, the trees shaking.
I haven't talked with my little sister in weeks it seems. And I've started drawing. Yes, the painful process of trying to create something on paper with a pencil. It has been dreadfully frustrating, I hate the two portraits of Ethan I have started: in one he looks like a devil child out of a horror movie and the other he looks like a sorta cute alien with an oblong head. But I haven't ripped them up. I know good drawings take time and patience, something I suck at, I am realizing.