Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Wind and Public Speaking

Wow it is windy today. Ethan is in his crib. He should have been asleep by now. Instead he is saying, "Out, out!" and "All done! All done!" and then singing Twinkle Twinkle or Rock a Bye Baby, his two songs of choice.
Joey is napping on the couch with green spongy earplugs sticking out of his ears because he got an immunization today that made him feel sleepy, and like crap. I am not sure about immunizations.
I taught kickboxing this morning and am currently experiencing the sensations of my body tightening, especially around my neck. The classes are getting so much better, so much more relaxed. I enjoy myself almost completely besides two or three college girls who won't shut up when I am trying to lead everyone in quiet, relaxing stretching and breathing. I don't even look at them. If I did, I am sure I would send off one of my most nastiest looks, even if I tried to hold it in, and ruin my sweet, friendly persona I am trying to build with the others. With the other quiet ones.
I had my first public speech of the semester yesturday. It went alright. My voice gets deeper when I am nervous, like a male. I once saw myself on a video-tape talking for this documentary and I swear I looked like I had had a stroke and the left side of my face didn't work. My lip was all droopy on one side.
I don't think this went quite that bad, but my voice did shake. I kept telling myself, "They can't hear it, they can't hear it," and whether that was true or not, I don't know. But I got through it.
You know what helps me with stuff like this? With leading worship and teaching kickboxing and public speeches? This: "Grace is a committment to, or at least an acceptance of, being ineffective and foolish."
If I could only get it through my head I don't have to be perfect. Another quote I like goes something like, "It is only one six billionth about you." The first time I read that I thought, You're kidding! That's it? But there is alot of freedom in the truth that the world does not rest on my shoulders, and if I mess up (gasp!) in a public speech or otherwise, it will go on.
That is why I can't do anything about this wind. It really isn't about me. Besides, God says that He rides on the wings of the wind. He is here.

1 comment:

Jooste Roost said...

I know I have said this a lot - but these are really good! How come I'm the only one responding??? I'm going to tell my friends about this :)