Well, it's been awhile!
We went on the most amazing vacation, where I re-learned to play, after a whole winter in hibernation-but more on that maybe later.
It started out as all vacations do, packing all of our daily little necessities-the vitamins, the wine opener, the shoes, the underwear (oh wait! That's right! I forgot mine, although I packed a good weeks worth of extras for Noah since he recently decided to use the toilet. Too bad I couldn't make them fit). So yeah, besides it being an absolutely amazing vacation, I was underwear-less the entire time! Talk about refreshing.
Thinking back, I realize Joey and I didn't fight too much, which is pretty good, considering vacations can be breeding grounds for long, overdue arguments. I think the trick is we've learned how to fight, and we've learned how to fight good. In the moment. The way fights are supposed to happen.
Take this morning for example. I ordered a stuffed animal hammock for the boys bedroom off Amazon for $7. The thing is the shipping was like $10.76. I thought it was a little ridiculous, like I was really getting you-know-what-ed, but at the moment I didn't care. I could barely see the print, ordering it on my phone, and I had already checked Wal-mart and they didn't have it. Besides, it was worth $18 bucks to me.
When Joey saw what I had done he let me know that I could have picked normal 5 day shipping for free, instead of the 2 day rape you shipping. I told him at this point that I was SICK of being micromanaged and that I was SICK of being married.
I can't remember really what exactly happened at this point, but that's the point. He didn't do anything.
Later, when I told him I was sorry for saying I was sick of being married, he just said, "I still love you" and I thought, damn, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anything close to you.
So that was that.
Vacation was good to me. Joey and I both read Born to Run, a book that inspires your heart and gets you off you butt. We ran and hiked deep into the mountains, caught slimy, crazy-eyed fish, swam across lakes. I can still feel the cold water engulfing my body, giving me goosebumps, awakening my spirit. I had almost forgot how to play, but once I started I didn't want to stop. Give me a ball, a bat, a bike, a lake, an innertube, just let me play! Every night we'd crash, totally exhausted in the most wonderful way, brown from the sun and smelling like dried sweat. I think in the first five days I only took two showers. This, from a girl who showers at least once if not twice a day normally. It felt great to stop taking so much care of myself and just enjoy living- minimal make up (was THAT ever hard to get used to. I felt like all I needed in the morning was a missing front tooth and I'd look like I'd been on bath salts for years) no curling iron, no eyeliner. Until the end when I couldn't stand it anymore, and then I put some on.
The boys...watching them play, being with them everyday in the water, on the bikes, eating ice cream...there is nothing better. Period.
They are away this week with my mom, visiting my sister and her family in southern CA (jealous!). And it's been really nice to be away from them too...I am able to write. I consolidated the boys' bedroom into one (shhh! it's a secret!) so I can have an office and workout room, and Joey and I have gone out to eat, to the movies, and had an incredible morning this morning soaking in warm sun on the patio, reading, drinking coffee, uninterrupted.
It's the fourth, and I am enjoying the quiet crash of the leaves as they move in the wind, sending in a light breeze over my toes. It feels really good to write again.