Trust Me (from God). And Don't Look in the Mirror in Zumba Class (from me).

Well, after suprisingly not feeling so horrible after a long day I happened to read my friend Emery's (wonderful!) post on motherhood and now I feel very close to tiny ball of deer shit.
hmph.
And then there's the thinking side of me, the side that more than a couple of times a week or a day says in my little brain, "It feels so good to be doing what GOD has called me to do. WORK!".  Then I kinda shake my baffled head. Because that's not what I pictured myself doing. I pictured myself at home, with four or five  kids at my feet, and a pitbull. In an apron of course! I even blogged about that, way back when. Too bad I don't know how to tag it here.
Instead I have two amazing little dudes and I find myself working. And loving it. Growing. Becoming more confident in who God made me to be. I see my skills and talents blossoming and maturing.
And that's not to say I don't fight a horrible gnawing feeling of guilt  parallel to every thought of every second of everyday, but I am beginning to learn that listening to those feelings of guilt and fear is the worse thing I can be doing.  I might as well put a bullet to my brain for all the good they are doing me. They suck the life right out of me, out of everything good that is happening in my world.
I think it's neat how God works so differently in our lives. How he shakes up our expectations and says, Trust me.  Not your emotions. Not your situation. ME.
And that is for every mama out there; those at home full time, those that work, those whose children are grown, those that have lost their children, or heck, it's even for those women who don't have children.
 Trust me.
God, that is so comforting to my weak, tired heart right now.
In other news I took a Zumba class tonight, my third or so. The number one rule in Zumba is this: don't ever, everevereverever look in the mirror at yourself during class.
I thought I could dance. I am, you know, the last one on the dance floor at weddings and stuff. But there is something about Zumba...I look like I should be in the River Dance instead. Stiff as a board! I have WHITE GIRL all over me. Maybe a long black sexy wig would help? A red, sequence dress, with fringe on the bottom?
That would be completely awesome.