Quiet desperation or belief.

Today I am weary. Slow.
I am baffled and defeated, because I cannot believe.

There is so much sin in this world. My own, and 6 billion others. That's a lot, and it has overcome me.
How will things ever be right? Do I really trust God, do I really believe?
Because His word is full of promises--one of which says that He has overcome the world.

Most men (and women for sure) lead lives of quiet desperation. I don't know who wrote that but my dad has it on a sticky note somewhere in the mess he calls his desk. And that is the truest thing I have ever heard.

So the question is, do I also believe Christ died and has overcome this world?

Not right now I don't. Right now I believe I am living--and so is everyone around me--in quiet desperation. Controlled by our fear, our pride, and all other earthly appetites. Appetites which satisfy for a moment, or even a week, or a year, but ultimately end in broken relationships, beaten up hearts and what seems an eternal distance from the only one who can redeem any of it.

My heart is weak, and my faith so small. I feel it struggling to live inside of me, on the verge of shriveling up and dying.

Listen to what he reminds me... I have separated your sins from you as far as the east is from the west....I chose you; I will always be holding you...I will finish what I began, in you and in this world...I am in control. Completely...All things are for your good. ALL THINGS....Trust me....I will give you the faith to trust me. Remember who I am and who you are in me.

Quiet desperation or belief.
But still, all I can manage to honestly say is please hold me.
Please, hold us all.