Hey so I am excited to write a little bit on being a woman, on what makes me tick, on how that lines up with also loving God and striving to live my life with Him. Like I mentioned yesterday I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a "godly" woman. Even the phrase kinda gives me the willies, makes me think of white gloves and tights.
And there's a big chunk of the problem right there. It seems to only be natural to have certain ideas associated with certain phrases. Stereotypes and cliches. Yuck. I think a large part of growing up and also maturing spiritually is letting go of those automatic responses to certain ideas and instead replacing them with an openness to God Himself; a back and forth listening and pouring out our very selves before Him as we engage in our daily lives and decisions.
I've been wanting to write on Proverbs 31 for awhile. I really love
this little chapter in the Bible. It feels like a quick "one, two"
(that's punches) to a prevailing train of thought that runs like
wild chickens throughout a lot of Christians today. Let me show you what I mean. Have you ever read, been told, or believed without asking God first that:
1. God really really really wants you to stay at home with your children.
2. You can work but only if you absolutely HAVE to for financial reasons.
3. Children are your first priority and if you work, you are putting them as second, or worse.
4. God will like you better if you homeschool.
5. You love your children more if you homeschool.
6. Your children will turn out and love Jesus if you homeschool.
7. God really really really wants you to homeschool.
8. Have as many children as you can. If you have anything less than three you are selfish.
9. God does not want you to spend a lot of time or money on your outward appearance. It's vain.
10.The less money you have and can live off of the more you love God.
Sound familiar?
The
first time I went to Proverbs 31 after struggling with a lot of guilt
in terms of wondering if I should and could work as a christian mom I
anticipated being reprimanded by the scripture. Put back in my place- straight up told I should be at home baking bread,
crocheting booties, and picking out homeschool curriculum.
Which, I should add here, is perfectly
wonderful and good. There are many women who are called in their own hearts, by God, and also
by the specifics demands of their families to stay at home doing the
above said duties (and many more) to love and care for their families' present and future needs.
However, when I went to Proverbs 31, instead of the big
paddle whipping I was expecting, I found confirmation and an
amazingly abundant amount of freedom in doing exactly what I was doing:
working my ass off everyday for the present and future good of my family, my marriage, and the society I live in.
Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and what you see is a woman who is working really hard, doing what she's good at, for the good of her family and society. I'm going to take this verse by verse so we get the full picture of who this woman was and what she was doing.
vs. 11
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
Talk about a helpmate. With her by his side, this man lacks NOTHING of value. He wants nothing. She meets his needs, whatever they were. He believes in her and knows that she can accomplish whatever it is their family needs.
vs.12
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Simple question: am I doing my husband good, or am I tearing him down?
vs. 13-15
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
This lady is MOTIVATED! She works with "eager" hands. She's responsible for providing food for her family as well as portions (payment of some sort) for her servant girls.
Servant girls.
Yes, let's say it again- SERVANT GIRLS.
This lady had help, and lots of it, and she was responsible for taking care of her help.
vs. 16-20
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She's smart in business and
makes good financial decisions which grow her family's financial assets. She's able to multitask and take on different endeavors at one time.
vs. 20-22
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
This lady had money girls. Hard earned, BIG money. Most women back then dressed in simple white clothing and it was only the very wealthiest that could afford dyes of any sort. She's not worried about "when it snows" because she has made sure that her family's needs will be met even when hard times come (she's got savings). And she has extra money to help the poor and needy in her society. This lady has her finances in order and is able to make money, save money, spend money, and give money.
vs. 23
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She married a respected man!
vs. 24 S
he makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
There she goes again, working and making money!
vs 25-26
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
This is one of my favorite parts because it shows her attitude in doing all that she is doing: this lady is joyful and not afraid of the feature in any regard. She's someone who if I lived back then I'd wanna go to to listen to all my crap and confusion and you know what she would probably say? Chill out. God loves you. Rest in Him.
vs. 27-29
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass the all."
I think this sums up a large part of what it means to be a woman who is seeking God and seeking to be the best mom and wife she can be-has she made choices so that her families needs, emotionally and physically, are met and in return they bless her and praise her. She's taking care of her family eagerly and with joy and they love her for it.
vs. 30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
She's got more than just her looks. She's got an impenetrable respect for God and what He has called
her specifically to. She fears what the Lord thinks of her, not what others may impose or imply. Her fear, respect, and will to follow go to one source: God and God alone. There is so much strength and freedom there.
vs. 31
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Love this too. She gets to enjoy the fruits of her labor and the accolades it brings her. She gets to soak it all in.
So I don't know about you, but when I read this passage none of the ten sentiments above are confirmed in MY life. Some or all may be in yours and that's good. The key is that we as woman are working with our husbands and seeking God to guide us in the specific decisions we make for our lives and our families lives. The key is HIM. An open, back and forth relationship with God in which we can hear His voice and know that we are walking with Him. It will look soooooo different for each and every one of us! We are so unique- there is not one woman who is put together the exact same way as another and the way in which we take care of our families and live our lives will be unique too.
I've stayed at home full-time, I've worked part time, and I've worked full time outside of the home. There is not a perfect way. Each has their challenges, their struggles, and their benefits. Like I said in my last post, there is no normal, no "right" way, only a Love that is able to redeem every aspect of our lives as we offer our hearts up to Him. He gives us the strength to get up every morning and fulfill our responsibilities with joy, whatever they may be.