Days Like Today.

It's been one of those days. One of those ripped my piercing out, had two cavities filled, realized we've ruined the finish (and warranty) on our new floors kind of day.
I'm learning to keep my eyes up, off the imperfect floor, off the stuff in life that brings me down, and instead, look to the skies. To the One who is eternal, and who is mine. That's going to be enough.
I took Noah to preschool for the first time today. He looked so small, his Mario backpack hitting his shins as we walked into the school. "I'm going to a new gool today!" he says.
I had to pack him his own lunch and snacks and Capri Sun. As I left him-he was so brave-I thought about how we are leaving a certain phase of life, the time when babies run everything and you feel like you never get a moment, like your life stopped for three years while you attended to all their needs. We are not in the clear yet, but I see this desperate phase coming to an end.
My mouth is still numb from the shots they give you before the cavities. It numbed me all the way up to my eyeball. If my face were planet earth, my right side of my face feels like a great glacier, cold and huge. I am able to see what I would look like if I ever had a stroke.
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I wrote that awhile ago and never printed it. It's funny now, so far away from that crappy day.
I've had the boys to myself all weekend as Joey has been hunting. He needs that time away, with his brother.
It's good for us to be away from each other too, to miss each other. It's too easy to take him and all he does for this family for granted.
I was thinking today how awesome it would be to date Joey again, away from all the responsibilities that come with having a life together-
You know, where all he would be was a good looking, sweet guy with a truck. Somebody who could talk to me for awhile deep into the dark, fall nights.
He's still that guy to me. We just have a life to run together, and the late night talks in his truck get thrown our with all the other non essentials.
Or maybe they are essentials.
Anyway, I miss him. We are in a time of life that is really crazy town. We have young, demanding boy and we have young, demanding careers. We are laying a foundation for our life, but the soil is so hard to break. It's back breaking. Day in, day out, work. work. work. With very little time to breath or look at each other, let alone talk and understand how the other is growing or changing or who the other one is nowadays.
He's hoping to get home around 4, then he'll go into work at 6.
Two hours.
Here's hoping for at least a chance to look him in the eyes.