I think the Dawn is Fast Approaching.

I took Ethan to Wild Waters yesterday. It was so....relaxing. For the first time since Ethan was pulled from you-know-where by those large, mid wife's hands, I had the tinniest glimpse of hope that life might return to a somewhat normal state, that I might not completely lose my mind before the children are eighteen and far, far away.
The reason being, of course, that it was so relaxing, was that Noah was at a sitters and Ethan is four now: self reliant, independent, even, mature. Like he didn't have a meltdown because we skipped his nap and I didn't have to be by his side the whole time making sure he he didn't slip under the water and drown.
It felt wrong it was so good. To make it even better, I was sitting by a single dad with a three month old and a two and a half year old (I know he just wanted to kill himself) and to the right of him was a single mom with three kids, five, three, and two or so ( I'm pretty sure she was suicidal too). I mean, these little family units were CRAZY. Diapers and poo and bottles and kicking and screaming and losing kids and I was just lying there, on my lounge chair, lounging for goshsakes, something I have not done since, like I said, Ethan was ripped out of me.
It was a beautiful moment, full of hope for the future, if we can just make it till Noah is four without, like I said, completely going insane.
So, there I was, lounging, (I just love writing that, I could write it over and over all day), staring and comparing at every one's quasi naked bodies. Most of these mothers had tattoos. I saw all sorts of them, angels' wings on the upper back, the all too famous butterfly right above the bootie, Winnie the Poo right above the front bikini line (little creepy, although the mom looked normal enough), pretty little vines; but not one of them stuck out to me as something I thought was so beautiful and unique and mysterious and wonderful that I would want it. It was just ink. And it actually was hard to find a mama without one.
After our lovely day at the pool Ethan and I headed over to the Legends, a place even more dangerous than Ross, and went shopping for Dad's day. And mom maybe might have picked up a couple of things for herself too but I am not sure.
We ended the the day with gummy peach rings, my favorite candy, even above gummy bears. Ethan was sleeping by the time we got to the sitters, and I felt as strong and confident and not crazy as a tiger. Usually I am more of a meerkat type, but maybe the dawn is about to break.