The Last Ten Years...up until Monday.

2000
I am living in Brazil, speaking portugese, walking everywhere, eating only fruit. I'm all bones.
2001
I come home and blow up. I start TMCC high school and buy a snickers everyday from the snack machine. I wear blue scrubs or skirts, the only things that are comfortable. I want to drive my champagne Honda Accord off a cliff.
After a long talk in the middle of the night with my mom, I join Weight Watchers. We go every Thursday night and the middle age fat ladies become my friends. I love their smiles, their rosy cheeks. We joke as we stand in line, waiting to be "weighed in" about our weight and out failures during the week. I learn to not take myself so seriously.
2002
I meet Joey Lear. He's calm and peaceful. I can't stop thinking about making out with him during our high school graduation ceremony. I can't stop thinking about him, ever.
I move to Santa Cruz for the summer. Joey stays home. He comes and visits every month or so, and we sleep on rocks over looking the ocean.
2003
I start college. I get crappy grades, due in full to my boyfriend who I can't stop thinking about. We go out, we break up, then we go out again. About a hundred times.
I go back to Santa Cruz for the summer and Joey comes with me. We have a wonderful, care-free summer in the redwoods. We get up early and run together. We go on dates to Lou Lou's downtown. And one day, on one of our dates, we go in a tiny jewelery store and he buys me a ring.
We get engaged.
2004
We get married and move into a shoe box on campus. Our life is simple: work and school and each other. In December, we go back to Brazil to visit.
2005
We get pregnant. Oops.
2006
Ethan is born in our apartment and almost kills me in the process. We buy our first house.
2007
Joey goes to the police academy. I start teaching kickboxing. We both go back to school. We graduate. Ethan is along for the ride.
2008
Joey becomes more and more involved in his career. I decide to find one myself. I get a job with Schneider. We are making bookoo money but I am not emotionally stable enough to handle the stress of a career and a family. In December, Joey says he can't take another breakdown as his head hits the pillow, and he tells me to quit.
I do the next day.
2009
I get pregnant. My appendix starts to ooze. I have surgery and find myself at home, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Bills start to climb and so does my desperateness for attention from my husband.
Joey starts staying out after work. I call a pastor in town for counseling, wanting to get Joey to straighten up.
Counseling straightens me up.
We switch churches. I get a part time job and start making time for things I enjoy. I have the Labor of the Year and the Baby of the Year. We start the slow climb out of debt.
Joey buys his first truck.
The deal falls through and Joey buys his second truck.
I total my car.
I buy a beautiful SUV.
2010
A quick stop at Starbucks lands my new car in the body shop.