Naptime and God.

I have been moody and depressed lately, with seemingly nothing worth writing. As far as my emotional state goes, the clouds start to clear, and then they come back. I haven't had a bright sunny day in a while.
There is something big going on, something wanting to change deep inside me, and I am strapped in, along for the ride. I am trying desperately not to resist it.
I sit at the teacher table at nap time, while my kids are rolling around like marbles, reading new books that are rocking my world (Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Love is a Choice, Boundaries in Marriage) and between spurts of telling little Johnny or Sue to be quiet and hold still, I feel the dark hole in my chest. Just feel it. Let it be what it is. I don't use verses to get rid of it, don't ignore it, don't feel guilty about it. Just let it be, and tell God, well, there it is. Here I am. A dark hole.
And we sit there, me and God, during nap time, and I can actually for the first time in a long long time, pray.