Feeling the Squeeze.

I need a job. That's what Joey says.
I had been thinking about getting a job, a more part time thing, ever since leaving Schneider, but we just kept figuring I am pregnant and we should just wait until after the baby is born. I was also thinking I could use some time "off" from Ethan, with some adults.
But as my belly kept getting bigger, so did my hesitation, and I finally felt like I had settled into non-working, full time mommy-hood. And it was a good feeling.
Our plan was for Joey to get a little overtime, not a lot, but enough to keep us from financial frenzy. But he hasn't seen overtime in three months, and I think the pressure is about ready to implode him from the inside out.
When he first mentioned going back to Schneider, I bawked. I laughed and then I got really disgusted, and I basically said, "Over my dead body, buster." But by the next morning I had called, asked to come in to talk with my boss.
I put my make-up on like I used to, and the mixed feelings of confidence and nerves came back as I was preparing to leave the house.
I had some time between dropping Ethan off and when I was to meet my boss so I went shopping like I used to, to calm my nerves. I didn't buy anything.
I felt like I was walking into my grave as I opened the big glass doors, but I put on my most charming smile and walked in with my shoulders back and my head high, and my belly sticking out.
It was good to see the friendly faces of old friends, and I honestly went into my meeting with every intent to get that job back. But my boss is no dummy. At one point he asked me if in a perfect world, I would be working at Schneider, and of course I wouldn't, but the world I live in is far from perfect. It's the world a lot of us are living in right now, full of upside down mortgages and lay offs and little plastic cards that seem to have hands, wrapped around our necks, squeezing tighter and tighter as their balance keeps growing.
He's not going to give me my job back, and honestly I felt a huge relief as I left. I am still looking for something part time, early morning hours so I could be home by two, but in my heart I am praying that the overtime will pick up.