Little Lear Numero Dos Baking in the Oven.

And when I say baking, I mean it. My tummy is so warm, like all of a sudden things are moving and grooving in there, which I guess they are. It's just cool to be so aware of it.
Of course, there are times when suddenly I don't feel pregnant, and I think, shoot! the little dot died!, which could be true, but I talked with my sister and she said we shouldn't think that way, shouldn't worry. Just be thankful to have this little life growing each and everyday, just like we should be thankful for any life: our own, Ethan's. Makes sense.
I didn't give a second thought to miscarrying with Ethan. Not a second thought. Maybe I didn't even know anyone who did, so I thought only old, unhealthy, ladies had them. Five years later, I know young, very healthy sisters and friends who have miscarried. Lots of them.
So anyway today this pregnancy feels very much like I am not pregnant; my stomach is just protruding a bit and it's softer than usual. And of course warm.
There is the daunting task of choosing a doctor. Just the thought kinda makes me want to puke. I have to have this baby in the hospital, seeing how that last one almost murdered me (just thinking about it gives me chills of terror) but I am still a home birth wacko at heart. It just seems like the right place for me to be, with a midwife, not getting texts done that require needles, not wearing some over sized, paper gown, not having some tube stuck up my wrist. I have to get over those things though. Have to get over probably having an epidural, which, who knows, might be my new best friend in about nine months.