Wear it.

The frog keeps coming back. Even this morning, laying on the mat, outside the door when I go to feed the doggies. It's about half its original size now, and very much weightless. Not even recognizable as a frog, save for the fact that I know what it was. I believe Feibe is the culprit that won't let this frog lie in peace. I sweep his crusty decaying body into the wood chips and low and behold, she brings him back to me.
What does this mean?
Is the frog me? In some way? This is what happens when you major in English and everything is a metaphor for something else.
Well, I don't feel like a crusty, decaying frog but I do feel bloated and like my pants are too tight.
I bought some new sweaters, in a larger size than I was last year, and they feel like heaven, like I can breath. I guess I am waiting on the jeans because for some reason it is so much harder to buy a bigger size in jeans than in a shirt. Jeans seem so definitive. So for sure--YOUR BUTT IS BIGGER THAN IT USED TO BE.
And I guess I am thinking maybe I will be pregnant soon and it will be so much less painful to buy a bigger pair of pants then, versus now, because there would be a legitimate reason as to why my pants don't fit: the teeny, tiny, microscopic baby in my womb.
It doesn't make any sense whatsoever but that's how it is.
Work was nuts, what's new? I am learning that I am a freaking NICE person. This sales world is quite brutal, like everyone wants everyone else to just die so they can have their customers. And the customers think that I want to gouge them every chance I have, which is just not the case. I am learning though. To communicate, to not shake or sweat, or want to cry, whenever some hard situation presents itself. The growth is good, but very painful...makes me feel like a wet kitten. Like a beaten, wet kitten.
Maybe someday I will look back and see how all this made me stronger, but now I just feel weak.
It's a hard lesson for a nice, straight A girl like me to learn that business is not about being nice. Fair, yes. Nice, not so much. Not everyone is going to love you to pieces, and in fact, some people might think you are dumb or rude or or just plain annoying.
Wear it, that's what they say. It means move on, get over it (or yourself).
Wear it.
And that's what I tell myself, over and over and over: wear it girl. Move on.