Hope and Praise and Thankfulness in the midst of Ambiguity Hell.

I am so excited at the prospect of this new job. I am excited about what it will do for our family, where it will take us, specifically out of crazy wind blown Stead and into the lush center of Reno.
I am excited to take on a challenge and see how far I can go. It's also scary, but I think that's a good thing. It it weren't scary, maybe it wouldn't be worth it.
Of course there are so many unknowns; unknowns I could drown in if I dwelt upon them: What will going back to work forty hours a week do to Ethan? What will it do to my marriage? What will it do to me?
But I am not called to dwell there; I am called to dwell in Christ.
My time with Ethan is sweet, even when he is being whiny and illogical. My patience with him is deep and wide, a grace from God that I am thankful for.
I feel for Joey; I think he is experiencing more of the hardships of what it takes to be a "stay at home mom" than I do right now; I have seen, briefly, that crazy look in his eye.
Last night we were up together at one in the morning, throwing barfed on sheets into the laundry and changing Ethan's bed. He was wide awake, ready to awaken the dawn:
I barfed mama. I barfed. Heading toward the door, Wanna go for a van ride?
The thing is we were doing it together, changing the sheets, dealing with Ethan, and though it was because Joey was up anyway, I appreciated it. This is how I feel in my life right now: like we are both pulling more equal weight, and we can both understand a little more the others' position.
Of course, I have to keep it all in perspective: Joey told me the other night he threw someone down.
You threw someone down? Like on the floor? I ask.
Having to use bodily force against someone, and having them use it against me, is an adrenaline and stress level I just don't have to deal with.
Anyway, I am trying to walk by faith, wondering if this is what it looks like, having to have faith that it is.