Working Woman.

I am at my new job and have sipped chamomile tea, gone potty three times, and checked the weather on yahoo for the last three hours.
How do I get jobs like this?
I really love it, really love getting up early before I have to do any mommy duties and getting dressed up and coming to work, even if it's a little slow.
My space is a little bland (one plant, one box of Kleenex, and a computer) so I think I will buy a new plant to bring in. I want to put up pictures, because yes! I have a desk (a big one) but because I am only working part time, it might be a little weird for whoever works when I don't. I considered bringing them in everyday and taking them home each night, but that seems a little compulsive.
We have signed up for a financial program where at the most it should take us 10 years to pay off our little abode in Stead. You don't understand how happy this makes me, whereas before we were looking to pay the thing off when I was about 55. (Gag!)
If we are frugal (not my strongest point) we could pay it off in six or seven. I didn't eat out today.
We also (tentatively) decided to hold out on making baby number 2 this summer so that I could continue working steadily because with this program the more you pay into it early on the more it will cut off the mortgage. We are talking years. So it seems the best choice is to wait another year.
I am OK with this. I was getting REALLY excited about being pregnant again and even labor (GASP) and even still having another baby around, but if we don't "randomly" get pregnant again I think this is a good financial choice for our family. It's only one more year, Ethan will be four, fully potty trained. That will be nice.

I also feel a little bit vain, but maybe that's silly. I have this tension like it seems like my main purpose here is to make babies and be a mom, so why wait? But maybe that is the silliest thing I have ever heard. I guess I am struggling with what will make me the most happy, kids now, or kids later, lots of kids or two kids, when what God is really calling me to be is happy right now in Him, period. He fullfills me, not children, not lack there of.
I love that about Him-that no matter what, He is I AM.
It really is the most marvelous, graceful thought.