Yesterday as I was driving to Wal-mart I glanced in my rear view mirror and there was Ethan, all strapped in to his new, beautiful midnight blue car seat. It complements his eyes. His head was straining forward, like he was trying to see something outside, and as I kept watching his head began to relax and his eyes shut-once-then twice-and then for good.
Can I begin to describe the innocence that I witnessed driving around McCarren as Ethan fell asleep? What a moment to see. Dashboard Confessional was in my CD player at the time singing as if planned, "You have stolen my heart..."
For all the frustration, for all the whines, for all the ten minute power naps instead of a good three hour one, Ethan has stolen my heart. Sometimes I look at him and think, Where did you come from? And then a lot of times I look at him and I see myself, just small. I see my own insecurities lived out in Ethan when he cries when people are too rough, or even just to forward with him.
We need our space, our time to get to know you.
What I see looking in the rear view mirror is absolutely breathtaking. A gift from God symbolizing the gift of Love He has given Joey and me. A new little soul, with markings of my own soul too. It's indescribable really.
Like so many things heavenly, it is too great for me to understand; I look in the rear view mirror and I am overwhelmed.
All this-on the way to Wal-mart!
1 comment:
a comment to make you feel special. I love when you post about Ethan. I don't even have kids yet but when I try and imagine loving them my heart loves them even now i can only imagine thats multiplied one hundred fold when you see them peacefully asleep in a car seat on McCarran. :) If you ever wanna look at my blog here it is... http://deairadea.blogspot.com/
Love you friend! :)
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