Today is one of those days, watching the sky turn from baby blue to smokey pinks and oranges, I really really don't want it to end.
It's one of those days where things are just normal, and all we're doing is normal stuff (church, naps, yard work, bbq dinner, baths...) and it's so perfect and comforting the thought of it ending with the chaos that will start tomorrow as we all head this way and that, is a little sad.
Right now we're waiting for the cookies to be done baking. They are from the box/tub Ethan sold for a fundraiser for his school and I am sure are just horrible for you, probably made of plastic. But sometimes you just have to not care.
We went to a cowboy poetry reading last night with Joey's family. I don't know if it was the beer or listening to the rarity of artists sharing their heart and souls in such silly and touching ways, but I was happy.
We listened to Paul Zarzyski read his poem, "All This Way for the Short Ride" about Joey's dad's last ride. I've heard the poem and the song over and over now and each time I feel it more, am connected to the realness of it. I squeezed Joey's hand wondering what in the world he must be thinking. I cried really softly, feeling a little awkward as I never knew the man...but as my relationship with his family grows and deepens, I feel more and more connected to him and the loss of his life.
Afterward we headed over to Nevada's oldest bar. We sat outside in the dark night, drinking and taking about our little ones back home, the crazy funny things they say and do. Everyone else seems so damn normal and pulled together, but it made me feel good to know they are up in the middle of the night dealing with poo and barf and everything ugly just like me.
I appreciated the time with my husband even though on the ride up we were angry and the ride back I could barely stay awake.
He drove and I held his hand and tried to lay my head on his shoulder, even though it strained my neck something awful to do so.
We finally made it home and in bed and I woke up this morning with a yucky sleepy hang over, but nothing a hot shower couldn't take care of. And then we started the day, the very normal, oh-so-wonderful-day that was today.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
We spent time in Graeagle, watching and playing in the soft beautiful snow.
Ethan had surgery number two in the middle of everything, taking us to Sacramento over and over for the surgery and check ups. I don't mind; it's a wonderful way to spend a day as a family on a short road trip with a stop at Ikeda's for lunch. Can't ask for much more than that.
His ear, although not perfect, is more than he had before. He wears sunglasses now whenever he gets the chance and the other day he said to himself while looking in the mirror, "This is what I always wanted! To just be a regular kid!". All my doubts and worries about if we should do the surgery went out the window at that point.
He's got one more to go, to put the final touches on it. I thank God for Shriner's Hospital and he was able to have these surgeries done at absolutely no cost to us. If you ever want a cause to support, support them.
I am looking forward to summer, the warm sun browning my skin, relaxing my anxieties as I slowly melt in it's warmth. We go to Vegas this weekend and that's all I plan to do: lay by the pool, read, think, work out, eat, and spend wonderful time with Joey.
|Rain or shine, sun or snow. Us. Together = Love.|