Life Today.

This dog is driving me nuts this morning. I feel like throwing him out the slider and slamming the door. He won't stop going after my feet, my robe tie. I feel guilty right now like a mother who uses ice cream or TV to get her child to shut up-I can't stop giving him treats. They are the only thing that keeps him occupied for five minutes.
He likes to be outside but we have at least two spots in our fence that he could wiggle right under. So if I put him outside I have to be out there with him, freezing. Finally he seems to have calmed down; I gave him a really big treat that is supposed to help his breath and clean his teeth. He desperately needs help with his breath.
My friend Jen came over again last night and said to me, "Let's go out," just as I was putting on the water for tea. Out? What?
"Ok..."I wasn't sure how all of this was going to work out with a two year old but I decided to try. Jen put Ethan's jacket on him and we were off.
We went to Red Robin and sat in a booth with no one behind us so Ethan couldn't play with strangers' hair or throw french fries in their laps. He stood the whole time and loved Jen's strawberry lemonade, which she ended up giving to him. She fed him the strawberries off the red straw.
We went to Bed Bath and Beyond and looked at flannel sheets and smelled candles. Ethan loves to smell candles. As I carried him back to the car, his little doughy hands smelled like spiced pumpkin and apples.
Then we went to Ross and browsed some more. Jen was looking for some king size pillows for her new bed. As we were testing out all the different brands, the pillows slipped off the shelf. You know how slippery they can be in those plastic covers? Anyway, we had a mound of pillows on the floor and a sales woman walked by and looked at us like we were ten years old and in her make-up or something. Then she just stood there. Jen said, "We're making a mess, aren't we," and the lady nodded.
I was so annoyed I almost started throwing pillows at her. I told her not to worry, that we would clean them up, and she nodded and walked off.
People sometimes.
Anyway, other than the pillow incident the night was wonderful. Food, lemonade, shopping. And most importantly, someone who doesn't have kids who acts like she does, making it easy as pie for Ethan and I to hang out with her anytime, anywhere. She brushed his teeth last night for gosh sakes.

The hum of the refridgerator.

We got a big snow storm this weekend. I got Ethan all decked out in the appropriate gear so that he could go outside with me to take the trash out. I don't have snow clothes because they are expensive and I'd rather stay inside. So I was in my bathrobe. But the first thing Ethan does is jump right into the snow. I forget how carefree toddlers are. He didn't even have gloves on. Then as we walked around the house he insisted on walking in the snow drifts instead of the paths. I would have liked to have stayed out there longer with him but I was freezing my rear off and his red fingers looked like glow worms.
***

Hallelujah. Truman just put his paw on the slider and so I let him outside. He did the normal five minute dog sniff before finding just the right spot and then pooped. All on his own. Of course then he was so proud of himself because I was cheering him on like crazy that he stepped right in it as he wiggled his way over to me. Whatever. Progress is progress. Oh and then when we came inside and I gave him a treat he peed because he was so excited. But I think we are making real headway here.

***I decided to take Truman on his first real walk because they say pit bulls need ALOT of exercise and Truman is rather rambunctious today. However,I didn't realize you have to train puppies to walk too for gosh sakes. He just sits there and looks at you like, "What?" When he can get it in his mouth he chews on the the leash. So I carried him all the way to the end of our street because the sidewalk hadn't been cleared of snow. I finally got him on a path and he didn't want to move. Then a big tuck drove by and Truman darted under my legs utterly terrified. I explained to him cars are kind of like humongous dogs.

But after the truck he was finished. He was shivering from the cold and from the truck scare so I carried him all the way back home. He was relieved to be inside his kitchen again and is now sleeping.

Joey and Ethan are sleeping too. It's quiet.

Puppy love.

So I've been jotting down all these cute things Truman does so that I can remember to write them in this blog but when I sit down they all seem quite irrelevant to the overwhelming feeling of THIS IS HARD. In fact I can't remember a time in my life that has been harder. Having a baby everyone feels sorry for you and offers to help and even gives you presents. Going to college and working and having a two year old everyone shakes their head in respect and offers to babysit. Having a puppy, on the other hand, people look at you with that smile that says, "I told you so."
And they did. Everyone tried to warn me and I blew them all off, which is a very human thing to do when other humans are trying to help you avoid a potentially hazardous situation. Oh no, we say. Not me.
Whatever. Of course it will be the same with you, Ding Dong!
I feel like Joey is about to snap. I feel like our marriage is about to snap. And I am definitely about to snap.
Ethan, however, compared to Joey and me, has been the most angelic thing since we got Truman and it's not because he likes the dog. He just seems to not worry about sticky linoleum from pee and training a pitpull to be nice when all he wants to do is bite bite bite and stuff like that. I realize how easy life has become with Ethan, how normal, and how it took me two years to get used to having him around.
God I pray puppies don't take as long as children to get used to.
It's not all bad for me. I still get cuddle time with Truman on the couch or when I'm in the chair in the kitchen he puts his little paw on my leg and asks with his most beautiful blue eyes, "Up, please?"
But Joey for some reason or another just gets his toes chewed on. Although last night Truman did sleep curled up in Joey's armpit, giving him a lick every now and then. Joey said he didn't get to sleep until one and then he woke up to Truman gnawing on his leg.
But I really can't tell you how hard this has been. People say your first year of marriage is tough-that was like a Hawaii vacation where everything goes right compared to our life here since Thursday.
I want this dog-I feel like Joey gave in to me wanting this dog but he didn't want it.
Love is never an easy thing, least of all I am learning, puppy love. Puppy love takes more patience, more forgiveness, more hope, than I have ever had to give before-not just to Truman, but to my husband.
I don't know why it seems like a shock as severe as jumping into an Antarctic pool that Joey and I are completely different in so many respects. Especially in our brains. Sometimes I think the only thing Joey and I have in common is the color of our skin, and even that varies.

Meet Truman.

Things have been a little tense around here, what with the new puppy, a new two year old, a major snowstorm, and me with the flu. Joey is already talking about ulcers and we've had Truman ('faithful man') for two days now.

I feel like I just had a baby.

Ethan doesn't really want to have anything to do with Truman because Truman thinks Ethan's legs are the perfect chew toy. Ethan will come into the kitchen and crawl right into Truman's kennel and shut the door so Truman can't get to him. The first picture up there was a rare sighting of them together and it last oh, about two seconds.

I have so much more to say about the little fellow. Maybe when he sleeps I will get a chance. Now it's time to check for pee puddles.

Unwavering Protector.

That is what 'Liam' means and that is what I am going to suggest we name out new little puppy who we put a deposit on yesterday. I think 'Liam' is perfect because it has a softness to it too and supposedly he is the most cuddly one, although all five of them seemed to want to burrow into you somehow.
I can't wait to post a picture of his most adorable face.
At one point he started chewing on Ethan's pants and when I tried to get him off his tiny razor teeth caught my cuticle and I bled all the way home. But I forgave him.
When I told the lady I didn't know how to choose one because they were all so dang cute, she said, "I always let the puppy choose me." And I said, somewhat stupidly, "How?" And she said, "Just call them and see which one comes."
So I did and he waddled over and that was it.
He is like a small lion.

Riley.

Well, we drove to Doyle last night and picked up a puppy. And now it's a quarter to seven the next morning and Joey is driving her back to Doyle to give her back.
We couldn't really see that well last night because it was so dark but the poor thing is almost starved. Her ribs stuck out like a small rack of pork ribs you can pick up at Raley's. She sat on my lap the thirty minute ride home, warm and still. She barely moved. When we got her home she threw up and had diarrhea everywhere. And then after worrying about her all night, thinking I'd find her small, brown dead body on my kitchen floor this morning, when I did go to the kitchen she didn't even lift her head, but her dark eyes were open.
Every time I looked at her my heart broke and I got very frustrated we paid two hundred dollars for her.
We had bought a collar for her and a name tag in the shape of a little pink heart that said Riley on it. She wore it all night but this morning I took it off of her. I wish I would have let her keep it.
This is all so crazy I am sitting here sobbing.

Rare Responsibility.

I called the tiger man and said we couldn't come see the puppy. It was heartbreaking. I was already dreaming about looking into those green eyes (he told me the puppy had green eyes). But I had to be smart and responsible and logical for a rare moment and admit that a potentially eighty or ninety pound pitbull might not be the best dog for our family. Even with a name like Tozer.
Joey and I had talked and we want a female, for size and maybe temperament reasons.
After I called and let tiger man know we wouldn't be coming to see the puppy, I told Joey, "That was really hard for me to do." And then a couple minutes later, "I think that was the hardest thing I have had to do in a while." And then again in the car on the way to dinner, "That was really hard. " He never really responded, just kept driving. I think we both wanted to slam each other's head into the dashboard.
But I feel better about it now. I have to go about this in a logical, responsible way, otherwise our marriage could suffer detrimentally. I have to go about it with patience for Joey. He is not ready for his grass to die from poop.